30/30: Existing as a Human

I can’t believe its already been thirty days.

This challenge started thirty days ago and reaching to end feels bittersweet. Somedays I felt completely uninspired and writing felt more like a chore but once I started writing, it was clear that I actually had a lot to say. Free-writes are a great way to express yourself because most of mine start with “I don’t really have anything I want to say but…” and then suddenly, there are three pages. Stopping to write has felt like a mini-meditation break through my day. Once I posted the first blog, I felt a sense of obligation to continue but seeing that people were actually reading them inspired me to keep writing.

During finals week, it gave me a moment to focus on something that wasn’t related to school which helped me focus more when I did return to my papers. Last week, it forced me to take a break from working overtime as a waitress to exist as a human with individual thoughts and emotions. I’ll probably continue to write everyday because it’s such a healthy habit to pick back up.

The best part has been realizing that there is so much that I want to talk about, but I never feel like I have the time or space to do so. I don’t really know who’s reading these blog posts, but I appreciate each and every one of you. It’s also kinda cool knowing that a bunch of random folks know so much about me now. You know some aspects of my childhood, my love for coffee, at least 100 things that I love, that I have hsv, how I attended a break-up support group, and you know that I walked into a glass door while stopping for coffee last week. Isn’t that kinda cool? I learned some cool things about myself through this process too.

Knowing that I had to write about something throughout the day made me more mindful about every interaction throughout the day. On day two, I thought about how much comfort I find in drinking hot coffee. Later that week, I saw an old letter hanging from my cork board and thought about all the letters I’ve sent and received. I acknowledged the comfort of seeing strangers in a laundromat. Those love letters to Caffe Nero were finally posted. I feel like I made peace with several experiences from my past by simply acknowledging that they hurt, made me sad, or that they made me really happy. Having emotions is a good thing. It’s okay to celebrate your own happiness and its okay to admit when you are hurt. Be a human.

Romanticize all the tedious parts of your day.

Buy a watermelon, take it to the beach, and have a good day with some friends.

Remember to give yourself space to breathe and exist as a human.

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