24/30: like a pigeon in a big city

Reasons why you should slow down.

Before COVID hit, I had a serious issue with saying “no” to open shifts/picking up doubles. This was great for my bank account, but not great for my mental health because I never gave myself a break. The quarantine taught me how to slow down and take time for myself. Once things started to open up, I caught myself slipping back into those old ways.

Boston is one of the most expensive cities to live in, so I understand that I have to work at least 40 hours a week to afford rent/bills/food/tuition/general life stuff. However, working 50-60 hours every week definitely takes a toll.

Anyway, I’m back to working two jobs after the long winter. I told myself that I wouldn’t over work myself again, but somehow I’m scheduled for 46 hours this week.

Random fun fact: I’m extremely punctual and I’m often ready at least an hour in advance because I hateeeeeee being late. One time, I got stuck in unexpected traffic on my way into work so I called my manager in a panic to let him know I’d be two minutes late. On average, I’m late to a shift once a year.

Today was that day.

I left my house 5 mins before I was scheduled to clock in. I hopped on my bike but noticed that the chain fell off and got tangled in the pedals. I arrived at work 15 minutes late with hands covered in bike grease and without having a single drop of coffee. I felt panicky from being late to work while also struggling to pull myself together because of the lack of caffeine.

After making sure everything was ready to go – I ran next door to get an iced coffee. This cafe has become my go-to coffee spot since starting this new job, and I’ve been looking forward to becoming a regular. A few of the baristas already recognize me from working next door. Anyway, I was texting a coworker (who I picked up the shift from) while trying to walk out the door after getting my coffee/day old muffin combo when I made a huge mistake. I misjudged the distance between myself and the door.

I cannot accurately explain how loud that “SLAP” sound was as it echoed through the relatively quiet cafe. The force of hitting the door made me fumble with the muffin in my hand – luckily the coffee remained steady in my other hand. I looked around and saw two people patiently waiting for their coffee staring at me in disbelief.

The force of hitting the glass door made me feel like a pigeon in a city full of windows. Every last speck of dignity escaped from my soul.

I have been walking this planet for 27 years and I’ve never, ever walked into a door like that.

I immediately went back into work and yelled “I CAN NEVER GO TO DARWINS AGAIN.” I told my coworker what happened and we both LOST IT. At random moments throughout the day, I’ll think about the sound of hitting that door and I can’t help but laugh about it. Hopefully I gave the baristas and those two guests something to laugh about too.

So during my break, I decided to take myself on a “lunch date”

I walked to a nearby lawn/park with a carrot sandwich and that’s where I’m currently writing this.

Moral of the story: slow the f down.

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