Tales from a particular hike through the Blue Ridge Mountains.
This post is from November 2015- but I can still relate as if it happened this morning.
“Today I woke up to terrible dreams and a hollow chest. I woke up this morning feeling empty and ready to run. I woke up this morning and all I wanted to do was roll over and go back to bed but that’s exactly what I chose not to do. I spent a few hours getting lost and chasing the sunrise in these never-ending mountains. I found a strange trail which I decided to take and of course, I got lost. While trying to find my way I tripped over a rock and fell. After 21 years with the same two feet, you would think one would eventually become familiar with gravity but these 21 years of being on my feet led me straight to this pile of leaves. As I found myself on the ground my first thought was “This is the worst, I should just give up, walk back to my car and drive home because how can I go on after making a fool of myself in front of ALL of those trees? I sat there in the leaves and began to laugh at myself. Here I am, in the middle of the woods and for some reason I felt as if I was in a high school hallway, who does that? I thought that was the worst thing to ever happen and that’s when I realized how small some of my problems can be. Instead of obsessing over every mistake just accept that there’s nothing you can do. You can’t go back and make a left when you should have went right, you can’t take back what you said to that person a year ago and you definitely can’t go back and remove that villainous rock you tripped over this morning. While getting lost on a strange trail, somewhere in the mountains I realized how small I am, and how small each and every one of my problems can be. Feeling small can really put things into perspective. I woke up feeling lifeless and hollow, and now I’m reenergized and I’m back in high spirits all because of a descent into some leaves. So after all of my morning shenanigans, I remembered that I am alive and I’m doing the best I can to make myself happy and for that reason alone, I am the happiest girl in the world.”
I’m proud of myself for growing as a human even while my entire being feels like its in transition. I am focusing on being present at all times, and not letting myself forgot how I got here.
Keep on shining bright, you will move mountains.